FIREWORKS you’re dumb when you’re drunk you don’t know how to fight if you keep this up we’re gonna be here all night you said you liked fireworks i’ll give you fireworks come on you cowards burn my schoolhouse down oh i know it’s late & you’ve had enough see, i’m wide awake & i’m calling your bluff you said you liked fireworks i’ll give you fireworks come on you cowards burn my schoolhouse down i don’t need no saint never wanted a savoir to thank you’re never impressed i guess i’m not that good even when i’m at my best you’re dumb when you’re drunk yeah you heard me right put up your dukes ‘cause i’ll punch out your lights you said you liked fireworks i’ll give you fireworks come on you cowards burn my schoolhouse down, down, down come on you cowards burn my schoolhouse down

NO COWBOY walking home through heat lightning my moment of triumph i can’t stop laughing look at what i’ve done there’s no cowboy running after me screaming i’m sorry later than last call i learned my lesson me & my big mouth curtsy & stagger on home there’s no cowboy running after me screaming i’m sorry see, i’ve got no willpower i’m always the first to cry uncle all right already you can stop twisting my rubber arm walking home through heat lightning the birds sing all night i’m counting my blessings i spin i’m a catherine wheel there’s no cowboy running after me screaming i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry

JIMMY jimmy, i’m feeling so bad the last drink last night was the straw that broke the camel’s back oh baby don’t you get mad just ‘cause momma’s tired of loaves & fishes i never wanted someone crawling sober over a thousand broken bottles just to be by my side all i want is someone to turn the lights down low & hang a do not disturb sign on my door jimmy, what have we done? we dropped the penny, we lost the axe, & you burned all your bridges down oh baby it’s too late to play dumb the writing’s on the wall, read the fine print & weep i never wanted someone crawling sober over a thousand broken bottles just to be by my side all i want is someone to turn the lights down low & hang a do not disturb sign on my door now we know nothing really matters bring me the head of mister hollywood on a silver platter jimmy, i’m tired & i’m bored we tried every trick in the book but there’s no happy ending oh baby i will always want more so put up or shut up when never’s forever enough is not enough i never wanted someone crawling sober over a thousand broken bottles just to be by my side all i want is someone to turn the lights down low & hang a do not disturb sign on my door

POSTER BOY i wanna be your poster boy of all the things you think are too sick to mention i wanna be your little lamb & follow you home & late at night when you are miles away & lost in dreams i’ll still be standing on your back porch whistling at the stars whistling at the stars & years from now when you are miles away & dead to me i’ll still be standing on your back porch screaming at the stars screaming at the stars why? just tell me why! was it something i did or something i didn’t do or something i said or didn’t say? i’m a genius not a psychic i can’t read your fuckin’ mind. my darling mother tells me that i will never have closure, grow up & learn to be a normal human being unless you grow up, man up, grow a pair & tell me where i went so fucking wrong. oh my love, my one true & only love. this is the part where we go from screaming to dreaming. that’s right because just like abba & martin luther king, i have a dream, i have a dream of a perfect dark & dangerous darling world. we’re going to lock the doors, roll down the blinds, dim the lights, & go thankfully, finally, blissfully crazy. we’ll order in ming’s special three for four to five people & a pizza & a deli platter with extra gherkins. & we’ll eat & eat & eat & drink dirty dark brown drinks until we start farting, farting like demons. & we’ll rise up & fly around the ceiling & we’ll be farting & eating & drinking & smoking, smoking & farting, drifting & dreaming until we meet, high above the piano, & then! & then we’ll start kissing. kissing & farting & smoking & fighting. oh baby, it’ll be the love battle spectacular of the century! the love battle spectacular of the millennium! a knock-down, drag-out all you can eat conflagration of crazy, angry, filthy, sexy beauty. & we’ll never give up! we’ll never give in! we’ll go down in history kissing & farting & fighting & smoking together for ever & ever & ever amen! we gotta do it man. we just gotta do this thing. do you know why? do you know why? i’ll tell you why! because i wanna be your poster boy of all the things you think are too sick to mention i wanna be your little lamb & follow you home

COUNTRY WEEPER NO. 2 (LAST MISTAKE) while you were sleeping i was drinking alone at the bar the waitress walked over she asked where you were oh if i could explain all this pain in my heart but it’s so big i don’t know where to start darlin’ try to understand i said i do, but i don’t think i can sooner or later, a heart’s gotta break you’re my last mistake the ring on my finger feels kind of tight & you know it never fit me quite right i was a hellcat, a loner until i met you & i’ll be alone now that we’re through darlin’ try to understand i said i do, but i don’t think i can sooner or later, a heart’s gotta break you’re my last mistake my life is in a suitcase in the back of our car i took all the money from our cookie jar there’s a note on the table & food on the stove i’ll have one more & then i’ll hit the road darlin’ try to understand i said i do, but i don’t think i can sooner or later, a heart’s gotta break you’re my last mistake you’re my last mistake you’re my last mistake

101 # (SO ROMANTIC) driving down the 101 all the way to santa cruz pretty mikey’s at the wheel you spin the dial, shoo wop doo wop baby whiskey singing in our blood top shelf, two for one rode the giant dipper twice hangin’ on for dear life ‘cause we were so romantic, so romantic we were so romantic, so romantic drummer from your other band he says we make a pretty pair stagger down the boulevard stupid kisses everywhere ‘cause we were so romantic, so romantic we were so romantic, so romantic oh how i loved you then & oh i still love you now but it don’t take a fuckin’ einstein to know it was never gonna work out anyway it was never gonna work out anyway anyhow sunshine morning in a golden state two-fifty buys you breakfast all day don’t look back when we head north ‘cause i’m scared you’ll turn into a pillar of salt ‘cause we were so romantic, so romantic we were so romantic, so romantic we were so romantic, so romantic

TRAINWRECK oh i wanna be your trainwreck baby love me when i’m lit up like vegas at the end of the night when they turn up the lights i wanna be your trainwreck let me be your sweet wallflower kiss me like there’s no tomorrow in the shadow of the band hold my hot little hand i wanna be your trainwreck i wanna carry your books & walk you home always breaks my heart to see such a pretty thing all alone... i wanna be your drunk medusa fuck me when nobody’s looking put up a fight in the pale moonlight & love me like a trainwreck ‘cause i am your last chance captain love me when street lights are swaying when no one’s around let me drag you down ‘cause i wanna i don’t know why, i just wanna because i wanna be your trainwreck

CYCLONE COMING cyclone coming just for me i see her twistinghere she comes i’ll warn you now best watch your step get in her way she’ll blow you down it’s me she’s coming for when the wind picks up all through the air blow odds & ends but they aren’t what she’s coming for it’s me she’s coming for cyclone coming just for me i see her twistinghere she comes i’ll warn you now best watch your step get in her way she’ll blow you down it’s me she’s coming for & when she gets here then i’ll know if a cyclone’s what i’m made for it’s me she’s coming for it’s me she’s coming for

DREAMS you show up in my dreams horribly scarred & bewildered i wake up at the part when i recognize your heart but i don’t wanna know sometimes on the phone babe i just feel so disconnected there’s static on the line how are you i’m fine well i don’t wanna know is it wrong to want to feel alright? is it wrong to want a little more? if we make it to last call i get up off the floor i pay your tab & raise your glass & say i love you baby we should just stay home & drink ourselves to death watch the episode of star trek where the captain isn’t shatner & then i’ll make you make love ‘cause green girls really turn me on beam me up, baby deep in my heart i have a secret dream that someday you will admit you’re a tedious alcoholic, i’m self-righteous hysteric who screams & cries & always gets it wrong lock me up, baby you show up in my dreams horribly scarred & bewildered i wake up at the part when i recognize your heart but i don’t wanna know there’s static on the line how are you, i’m fine well i don’t wanna know next time we go drinking don’t ask me what i’m thinking ‘cause you don’t wanna know

ROOFTOP RIDER rooftop rider, party train would you meet me down at the donut shop ‘cause your best friend he said he never thought you’d ever give in princess blooms against the blue & i’m in a mood lord won’t you buy me a beautiful train wreck tonight drowning in drunken splendour pretty as needs be a sailor on shore leave i’m just trying so hard to be tender bali hai my little darling come to me, come to me stars shine high overhead & i made my bed so please mister please won’t you let these sleeping dogs lie spotlight sways from red to green caught in between can’t catch the swing of this clean, clean living drowning in drunken splendour pretty as needs be a sailor on shore leave i’m just trying so hard to be tender bali hai my little darling come to me, come to me rooftop rider rooftop rider rooftop rider

ONE TRACK MIND well i got a one track mind i said i got a one track mind i said i got this one track mind dirty little pictures of you well i got a one track mind i said i got a one track mind i said i got this one track mind dirty little pictures of you yeah i got this one track mind & my heart, my heart is a malevolent octopus monkey monster riding on the back of a huge rottweiler with pointy sharp teeth & scarlet pinwheel eyes but if you go deep inside the rottweiler’s heart there’s a baby! a beautiful precious baby! but it’s not really a baby. it’s a piñata & if you break the piñata baby it smashes into a million pieces & out jumps a tiny shiny fairytale creature, kind of a cross between a chihuahua, an angel, & a hummingbird with a diamond in its mouth & if you look closely at the flaw in the heart of the diamond you’ll see me about to say i got this one track mind i said i got a one track mind i said i got a one track mind dirty little pictures of you dirty little pictures of you dirty little pictures, pictures of you

THE UNIVERSAL SONG (oooh, oooh, oh woah) we know that you’re busy (we know that you’re busy) with your own busy-ness (busy with busy-ness) thinking ‘bout those problems we all have (think about the problems that we all have) we know about that stuff (we know about stuff) yes, life can be rough (like ike & tina turner rough) you got to be so tough (so tough) to understand the things that we’re about to say ‘cause we don’t really want to connect with you when we’re up here that’s not really what we’re trying to do you might get the idea that we care about the problems that you’re going through not true, not true not true, not true we might tell a story about when we were young keep the details general so it appeals to everyone we’ll all reflect on this while i (he) play(s) a solo on my (his) accordion do de doo, do de doo so please reward us for our honesty get down on those knees & worship unconditionally though it’s a sham & fraud at the end you still applaud (thank you! thank you, we love you!) believing you’re a part of what we do (oh you know you’re a part of what we do, oh!) you really are the heart of what we do (oh you know, you know, you’re the heart of what we do, oh!) not true, not true not true, not true not true, not true not true, not true kelly hudson KELLY HUDSON

FIREWORKS you’re dumb when you’re drunk you don’t know how to fight if you keep this up we’re gonna be here all night you said you liked fireworks i’ll give you fireworks come on you cowards burn my schoolhouse down oh i know it’s late & you’ve had enough see, i’m wide awake & i’m calling your bluff you said you liked fireworks i’ll give you fireworks come on you cowards burn my schoolhouse down i don’t need no saint never wanted a savoir to thank you’re never impressed i guess i’m not that good even when i’m at my best you’re dumb when you’re drunk yeah you heard me right put up your dukes ‘cause i’ll punch out your lights you said you liked fireworks i’ll give you fireworks come on you cowards burn my schoolhouse down, down, down come on you cowards burn my schoolhouse down